• U - Unaware

    U is for Unaware

    #AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary blogging from A to Z challenge letter

    When my mom mentally began to fail in her late 70s, I was unaware of what was ahead.  I was unaware of exactly how much energy if would take of me to be her caregiver.  I was unaware that I would have to break promises I made to her regarding nursing home care.  I was unaware that as her brain failed her, I would find myself at times short of patience.  I was unaware of the total sacrifice of my personal health and emotional well-being I would have to make to care for her until her last breath.

    I was unaware of so much.

    What I did know was that I could not turn away, put her care in the hands of someone else at the first sign of problems ... not until I tried, until I had no choice.

    Mom lived with me for 5 years and then 3 years in Assisted Living and Nursing Home Care.  At our first family meeting with the facility's disciplines of Nursing, Social Service and Life Enrichment, I marveled on how giving, caring, patient and engaging the staff was with my mom.  There was never a harsh or impatient word with her or any of the residents (and I visit a lot and watched a lot.)   I commented that I understood very intimately how hard this elder care was - because I had walked in their shoes for 5 long years.  I will never forget the Social Worker's response to my observation ... "Well, of course, we can do this well.  There are many of us and we work 8 hour shifts.  There was only one of you, and you worked 24/7."  I struggled to keep from tearing up in front of this stranger.  She was aware of the price I paid every single day - she knew very well the sacrifice that was needed.  For the first time in 5 years I felt understood.  Until that moment, rightly or wrongly, I felt I was surrounded by people who were unaware of what I gave of myself for my mom.

    I believe that all caregivers who take on this vocation are unaware at some level and underestimate the personal expense it will demand.  It was an isolating life, and it is truly a 'marathon' with no finish line.

    It has been 12 years since I moved mom into my home.  When I think of that decision and how unaware I was of the effort I was taking on - I look back and think ... would I do it again?

    The answer is - yes!
    The other "choice" I could not live with.
    I have no regrets.

    Would I want my children to take on this effort - on my behalf?
    No.  Never.  And I have already told them so.
    I know the cost.
    Mothers protect their children.
    They are unaware.


  • You might also like

    No comments:

    Post a Comment


9-11 A place to start A to Z AAA Birthday advent Aging Alcohol ink Alex Syberia Design all Altenew Anniversary appliances Arteza articles of faith Ascension audio books Australia Avery Elle Baby card baby kort Baby Names Birch Press Birthday card Blog blitz blogging bokeh book review books boy card Brandt Lassen bushfires C.C. Designs camping caregiving CAS Catholic cats Children's Liturgy Choices Christ the King Christmas Cleaning Clearly besotted clutter Coffee coffee lovers blog hop COMFORT Concord 9th condo Connie Fong copic coloring Couture Creations Crealies Create a smile stamps Creative Expressions crochet dåb Dansk tekst daughter design team developing talents DEVELOPMENT diet Digi Doodles digital image digital stamp distress ink Dixi Craft dogs Doodlebug downsizing dry embossing Dutch Doobadoo Easter Education efterår embossing powder Epiphany Eskarina exercise Faery Ink fairy faith in god fall Family Family history Fars dag Father's day faux stained glass Feast Day Fitbit fødselsdagskort foil friends garden Gerda Steiner Gittes design glimmer paste glitter goals Government Graciellie grand daughter gratitude Guest designer Gummiapan Halloween HEALTH heat embossing heat tool Hello Bluebird Hero Arts hobby Hobbyboden holidays Holy Family infinity shaker ink blending ink smooshing interactive journals Joy! jul Kenny K stamps knitting Lawn Fawn Leane Creatief learning and living the gospel Lemon shortbread Lent life life-change Lil' Inker Lili of the valley Living Love Lucy Abrams Make it crafty Mama Elephant Marianne Designs Maryland Sheep and Wool masculine Max memories Memory Box mermaid minimalism Mo's digital pencil mom moving My Favorite Things my gospel standards nature Nellie Snellen Newton's Nook no-line coloring Nuvo drops Nuvo glaze Nuvo shimmer powder opaque operation skriv hjem OSH Oxide ink oxide inks Panduro Parenting peace peek-a-boo Pendidikan Pentecost pets Pinkfresh Studio planners plants PLAY poem politics Polkadoodles Poppystamps preparing for young women Pretty Pink Posh rainbow Ranger RELATIONSHIPS santa season serving others shaker card shimmer Shimmer powder sick Simon Says Stamp Simple and Basic Sissix Sizzix Sleep slider card sommer son sparkle Spellbinders Stamping Bella stencil Studio Katia Sugar Pea Designs summer Sunny Studios swatching tak tapestry Taylored expressions texture paste thank you The Cat's Pajamas The Greeting Farm The paper Shelter The Virtual Appalachian Trail Hike Three Scoops Tim Holtz Time tips Tonic studios trains transluscent tri-fold Trifold card Trinity Turnabout stamp TV unicorn update Waffle Flower walk Walking Wally watercolor watercolor markers weather Weaving wedding weight Whimsy Stamps winter WOW! wreath yarn